When I look back at the last 10 months of my life I am astounded by the quantum changes I have undergone in mind, body, and spirit. The original journey started in December 2011 and was a slow and steady progression and took off dramatically with my first energy healing experience with Radhaa of Golden Goddess Healing. With the addition of the healing from Maya of Lemurian Healings the transformation took off like a rocket ship. For those familiar with Star Trek it was like going from Impulse power then leaping to Warp 9. To me it was a welcome change from the humdrum and sometimes aimless direction I felt of my life.
I was cognizant that I needed to make changes to myself completely inside and out and I was ready to take those steps. The initial transformation and my documentation of it is found in one of my earlier blogs The Benefits of Energy Healing- Mind, Body, and Spirit Transformation Journey. The next phase which happened beginning in May is a journey deep into my mind, my heart, and my soul. It is a journey of such significance and emotional swings that rocked me to my very core. It's like having your entire self go through a cosmic shift to the very DNA level.
Where do I begin? How do I begin to tell this story? It comes to me in visions while I am awake and a lot of dreams during my sleep. The experiences I went through were very deeply heart and gut-wrenching because I was going through a massive scale of purging and releasing. The effects on me physically were so exhausting and I felt devoid of energy and life. My body was simply trying to shut down and my mind and heart were like fighting with each other like it was Armageddon.
Trying to process and comprehend it while going through a tumultous and stressful personal and business situations added to my misery. I found solace and comfort from my dear friend Radhaa who was like my bedrock of strength that kept me intact and forging on despite all the pain inside and out. That is the essence and true gratitude I feel for her guidance, her love, and her mere presence in my life was energizing. I learned a lot about handling what was coming to me and at times I just curled up at night whimpering like a little baby.
The discovery of my true self and calling was manifesting to me in this reality. The dreams I experienced was like being caught in a maelstrom of solar flares, cosmic gases and dimensional shifts in time and space. The dreams would range from subtle, sublime, and divine, to that of fiery raging flames of different colors. Colors would range from purple, gold, red, blue, green, yellow, and coalesce into a kaleidoscope that would mesmerize me in my sleep.
I remember vividly in my dreams of the past 3 months of fighting other beings that resembled that of reptiles and lizards, light beings, and shadow beings. I would wake up in a pool of sweat feeling so achy, beat up, and exhausted and I would ask myself what the heck just happened? As the dreams progressed in the coming months I would have less and less immediate memory of them. It was like my mind was shutting down because it was too much to process and comprehend on a human level the events unfolding in the dreamscape of the quantum universe.
I remember Radhaa telling me that as my healing progressed that there would be more and more layers that would be unfurled. Like a giant onion I can attest to the complexities of the layers of my self and my psyche that had been put in place by fear and past experiences that shaped me to this point. I would also seek the guidance of Maya and she told me that it was my own self seeking to rise up to a higher level of consciousness and awareness. I learned that a big part of the healing involves releasing not just the hurts and painful experiences but also the fears that kept me from moving forward and upward.
The past few weeks of dreams were quite enlightening. I learned not to analyze from a logical point but rather I would look into myself deep within. I thought I was in the light but there were still big parts of me being held back in the dark because I refused to let go. In psychology they say that there's only one fear scientifically proven and that is the fear of heights. The others are just rooted in conditioned responses.
There are so many roots to that beginning with the culture and religion I was born and raised in. Then as I grew from a child into an adult there was a lot more conditioning and programming involved. Even up to now that is what is happening in today's world and we are constantly placed in that state. Why? Because it's easier to control someone when there is that fear to hold them back.
What I found that as I made my dramatic changes over the past months that the people around me felt threatened, dismayed, fearful, jealous, and hateful towards me. I realize that for me to break free of the chains that bind me I need to look further within to my heart and to communicate and be one with my true self. For so many years my true self was trying to reach the light and I felt that even my closest friends and family were holding me back. It's sad but it's true.
I've seen the visions of where I want to be, what I was meant to be, and perhaps complete that missing piece in my heart and soul. The ball is now in my court and I accept it with a bit of trepidation and acknowledgment that with change there will be some more pain to experience. But pain is what is found in this third dimension we live in and the ones that truly surpass that are those that forge beyond the pain toward the light and release.
I am prepared for that journey and I will manifest it. In my heart I know what I need to do. I just have to create the plan, attune my mind, body, and spirit even more and keep letting it flow. Thoughts become reality and I let the Universe and Creator flow through me, with me, in me. This is just the beginning. Let the story unfold and the world shall read about it. It is time to start the healing. No more wars, no more hate, no more anger, no more greed. Let us begin the journey to our true selves. We are all One.
